This is like finding out that Abbot hated Costello, or peanut butter actually tastes awful in chocolate, or that hot dogs really belong at chess matches rather than baseball games.

In Keene, New Hampshire, Police and donuts don’t go together well.

Headline WLBZ 2 Bangor: Police Computers Clash With Dunkin’ Donuts System

KEENE, N.H. (AP) For Keene, New Hampshire police officers, getting through the drive-through at Dunkin’ Donuts can be quite a nuisance. — It turns out the officers’ in-car computers interfere with Dunkin’ Donuts computer system. Police using the drive-through have to disconnect their computer modems to avoid clashing with the restaurants’ system.

Walking down the sidewalk across the street from the Dollar Bank main branch in Pittsburgh, there is an interesting double door. I don’t know what the doors lead to, as whatever used to be in that part of the building appears to have been closed for years. There are no signs for a business, club or office. It just is a door. But what a door. The double doors are made of metal (brass?), and each door has five of these “flower” panels.

In the middle ages, churches would have collections of relics that they would periodically display for a fee. These relics would be things like the bones of saints, or the tears of the Virgin Mary in a bottle. John Calvin noted that there were enough splinters of Jesus’ cross in Europe to build a whole city. There were numerous skulls of John the Baptist, and most of the apostles had multiple bodies.

But the other day, I saw that our church had an interesting relic sitting out back. Sitting in the center of the fire ring was Shadrach’s chair.

Headline Washington Times: Moss thrives on screens

I will post something to me judice every day often occasionally in 2006.

(It is important to make your resolutions achievable.)

Wesley: A few more steps, and we will be safe in the Fire Swamp.

Buttercup: We’ll never survive.

Wesley: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

[Later after some adventures in the fire swamp.]

Buttercup: We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Wesley: No. No, we have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the fire spurt. No problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each. We can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like so in the future we can avoid that too.

Buttercup: Wesley, what about the R.O.U.S.s?

Wesley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.

The Princess Bride, movie edition

A Pittsburgh area family must have seen The Princess Bride.

Headline Tribune-Review: Popping sounds scare off family

When they started hearing popping sounds in their house, they didn’t wait around for the R.O.U.S.s to show up. Thankfully they didn’t fall into any lightning sand as they fled.

From the Tribune Review.

Steelers coach Bill Cowher does not expect the league to fine linebacker James Harrison for body-slamming a fan Saturday in Cleveland, where the spectator got onto the field and raced toward the Steelers bench.

“There is no chance of that happening whatsoever,” Cowher said. “No way. I will not let it happen. Security oughta give him a little bit for what he did for them. He held the guy down. It took four of them to take (the fan) off. James could have just carried him out of there and thrown him into the stands again or something and come back.”

AP Photo:

Caption: “Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison slams a fan to the turf after he ran onto the field during the fourth quarter of the Steelers’ 41-0 NFL win over the Cleveland Browns Saturday, Dec. 24, 2005, in Cleveland. (AP Photo/Tony Dejak)”

When I was in the Air Force flying in B-52s, bird strikes were a big concern. If you were to fly into a flock of birds on take off, and you lost a couple engines, you could be in serious trouble. But I didn’t realize that birdstrikes are just the tip of the iceberg. As the FAA document of wildlife strikes to United States civil aircraft for 1990-2004 (PDF format) shows that birds aren’t the only problem.

Watch out when it is “raining cats and dogs”. In that 14 year period, there were 21 domestic dog (page 51) and 8 house cat (page 52) strikes. But those numbers pale in comparison to the 174 strikes of those wily coyotes (page 52). Coyote strikes make more sense if you consider that maybe they were unsuccessfully chasing that pesky bird, the roadrunner.

You probably would guess that it is very unlikely that an airplane would hit a ground burrowing badger or a river otter, and you would be right. There were only two badgers and one river otter strike in those 14 years (page 52). But where did those 12 alligator strikes (page 53) come from? Were they flying extremely low level over the everglades?

Who knew how dangerous those skies were?

Q.64. What does the fifth commandment require?

A. The fifth commandment requires us to respect and treat others, whether above, below, or equal to us, as their position or our relationship to them demands.

All of us are under authority, and many of us have authority over others. God has ordered our lives so that we are in relationships of authority, and so He commands us to treat others with the respect that their position requires. Whether we are at work, at school, in the family, or at church, we are to obey those over us, as long as they are not commanding us to do that which is against God’s commands. And we are to treat those under us with respect. We are not to abuse our positions of authority to benefit ourselves, but are to strive to be pleasing to God in our duties.

Romans 13:1-7

¹ Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. ² Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. ³ For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, ⁴ for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. ⁵ Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. ⁶ For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. ⁷ Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Headline AP: AP: Brazilian Reporter Defends Amazon