Wesley: A few more steps, and we will be safe in the Fire Swamp.

Buttercup: We’ll never survive.

Wesley: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

[Later after some adventures in the fire swamp.]

Buttercup: We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Wesley: No. No, we have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the fire spurt. No problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each. We can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like so in the future we can avoid that too.

Buttercup: Wesley, what about the R.O.U.S.s?

Wesley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.

The Princess Bride, movie edition

A Pittsburgh area family must have seen The Princess Bride.

Headline Tribune-Review: Popping sounds scare off family

When they started hearing popping sounds in their house, they didn’t wait around for the R.O.U.S.s to show up. Thankfully they didn’t fall into any lightning sand as they fled.

From the Tribune Review.

Steelers coach Bill Cowher does not expect the league to fine linebacker James Harrison for body-slamming a fan Saturday in Cleveland, where the spectator got onto the field and raced toward the Steelers bench.

“There is no chance of that happening whatsoever,” Cowher said. “No way. I will not let it happen. Security oughta give him a little bit for what he did for them. He held the guy down. It took four of them to take (the fan) off. James could have just carried him out of there and thrown him into the stands again or something and come back.”

AP Photo:

Caption: “Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison slams a fan to the turf after he ran onto the field during the fourth quarter of the Steelers’ 41-0 NFL win over the Cleveland Browns Saturday, Dec. 24, 2005, in Cleveland. (AP Photo/Tony Dejak)”

When I was in the Air Force flying in B-52s, bird strikes were a big concern. If you were to fly into a flock of birds on take off, and you lost a couple engines, you could be in serious trouble. But I didn’t realize that birdstrikes are just the tip of the iceberg. As the FAA document of wildlife strikes to United States civil aircraft for 1990-2004 (PDF format) shows that birds aren’t the only problem.

Watch out when it is “raining cats and dogs”. In that 14 year period, there were 21 domestic dog (page 51) and 8 house cat (page 52) strikes. But those numbers pale in comparison to the 174 strikes of those wily coyotes (page 52). Coyote strikes make more sense if you consider that maybe they were unsuccessfully chasing that pesky bird, the roadrunner.

You probably would guess that it is very unlikely that an airplane would hit a ground burrowing badger or a river otter, and you would be right. There were only two badgers and one river otter strike in those 14 years (page 52). But where did those 12 alligator strikes (page 53) come from? Were they flying extremely low level over the everglades?

Who knew how dangerous those skies were?

Q.64. What does the fifth commandment require?

A. The fifth commandment requires us to respect and treat others, whether above, below, or equal to us, as their position or our relationship to them demands.

All of us are under authority, and many of us have authority over others. God has ordered our lives so that we are in relationships of authority, and so He commands us to treat others with the respect that their position requires. Whether we are at work, at school, in the family, or at church, we are to obey those over us, as long as they are not commanding us to do that which is against God’s commands. And we are to treat those under us with respect. We are not to abuse our positions of authority to benefit ourselves, but are to strive to be pleasing to God in our duties.

Romans 13:1-7

¹ Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. ² Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. ³ For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, ⁴ for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. ⁵ Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. ⁶ For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. ⁷ Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Headline AP: AP: Brazilian Reporter Defends Amazon

Got some free time? Here’s an interesting trick you can do.

Move your computer monitor. Take a picture of where the monitor was so you photograph what is behind it. Replace your monitor. Now, crop the picture so it shows just what is behind the monitor. Finally, make the picture the wallpaper for your monitor, and voila! You now have a transparent computer screen!

Here are some interesting examples. My favorite is the hand that goes into the screen.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

J.R.R. Tolkien — The Lord of the Rings

For years we thought this was all the story. All the Rings of power were accounted for, and their history was complete. Or so we thought.

But now, scientists have found that there is more. Much more.

Headline AP: More Rings Are Found Around Planet Uranus

LOS ANGELES - Astronomers aided by the Hubble Space Telescope have spied two more rings encircling Uranus….

Now that Peter Jackson is done with King Kong, perhaps he can begin his next movie based on this important discovery.

Headline Telegraph: Iran bans West’s music

Iran’s hardline new president yesterday ordered radio and television stations to stop playing ”indecent and western music”

I guess that means no more Garth Brooks for them.

Q.63. What is the fifth commandment?

A. The fifth commandment is: Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you..

God has established lines of authority within which we all live. We are under the authority of our government, of our command structure at work or school, and of our spiritual leaders in our church. And God has ordained a line of authority in families also.

As we will see in the following catechism questions and answers, the fifth commandment tells us to submit to the rightful authorities in all aspects of our lives. In the next few weeks we will see how this applies to government, work, and church as well as home. But for this week, we see the direct command to honor our parents. For children, this will mean they should obey their parents immediately without questions or complaints. For children to disobey their parents is to disrespect their God-given authority, and therefore it is to disobey God.

Colossians 3:20

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

When I first heard that the Lord of the Rings was going to be made into movies, I was skeptical that they would do it very well. As it turns out, I was pleasantly surprised, and I have greatly enjoyed them. As a matter of fact, I’ve missed having a new LoTR movie released every Christmas season.

Apparently others feel the same way, and so Hollywood has attempted to fill the Hobbit void with a movie that was recently released on DVD. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve heard some people say it was pretty good. Apparently it combines the idea of Hobbits and superhero crime fighters in a movie called Batman Baggins. I hope I like it as much as LoTR.