From The Princess Bride:

The Florin/Guilder Fire Swamp did and does have some particular odd characteristics: (a) the existence of Snow Sand and (b) the presence of the R.O.U.S….

Any discussion of the R.O.U.S.–Rodents of Unusual Size–must begin with the South American Capypounds. They are nothing but water hogs, however, and present very little danger. The largest pure rat is probably the Tasmanian, which has actually been weighed at one hundred pounds. But they have little agility, tending to sloth when they reach full growth, and most Tasmanian herdsmen have learned with ease to avoid them. The Fire Swamp R.O.U.S.s were a pure rat strain, weighed usually eighty pounds, and had the speed of wolfhounds. They were also carnivorous, and capable of frenzy.

They also have a keen sense of smell, and have now been tamed.

Headline Telegraph: Giant rats to be used to sniff out TB victims

… The rats, which grow as large as a domestic cat, are trained by being rewarded with a piece of banana or a peanut when they correctly identify a tainted sample.

Their sense of smell is as powerful as that of a dog but they are happier performing repetitive tasks without becoming bored.

In the course of the day, I ran across the following book: How to Say It.

(For those who don’t get the joke: click here.)

Q.52. What are the reasons for the second commandment?

A. The reasons for the second commandment are that God totally rules over us, that we belong to Him, and that He is eager to be worshiped correctly.

God is eager to be worshiped correctly. He has defined what should happen in worship, and we are to do exactly and only what He requires. Notice that the second command ends:

… punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me, but showing love to a thousand [generations] of those who love me and keep My commandments.

In the context of discussing how to worship correctly, God threatens punishment upon people for their sins and promises to reward them for their obedience. Why should we worship correctly? Because God is eager to be worshipped correctly and He punishes their sin of incorrect worship and rewards their obedience of correct worship.

It is interesting to note that in Malachi we see that God is so concerned about our worship that He would rather we not worship at all than to worship incorrectly. He would rather have the temple be completely shut down than to have the people bringing sacrifices that violate the standard He has established in His word.

Malachi 1:6-10

⁶ “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name. But you say, ‘How have we despised your name?’ ⁷ By offering polluted food upon my altar. But you say, ‘How have we polluted you?’ By saying that the LORD’s table may be despised. ⁸ When you offer blind animals in sacrifice, is that not evil? And when you offer those that are lame or sick, is that not evil? Present that to your governor; will he accept you or show you favor? says the LORD of hosts. ⁹ And now entreat the favor of God, that he may be gracious to us. With such a gift from your hand, will he show favor to any of you? says the LORD of hosts. ¹⁰ Oh that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might not kindle fire on my altar in vain! I have no pleasure in you, says the LORD of hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hand.

I attended Great White Northern High School for the Government Mandated Education of the Young and Impressionable football game last night. After the opposing team’s marching band had finished their show, the announcer told the crowd, “The bands and their fan would like to thank you.”

There were a lot of people applauding the performance, and I wondered which one of them was the fan.

Yesterday I had a few minutes before dinner and my youngest (who accompanied me on my whirlwind one day trip to the Great White North) wanted to play for a while. So we went across the street to the playground of the Great White Northern School for the Government Mandated Education of the Young and Impressionable. Whilst playing with my daughter on one of the pieces of playground equipment, a boy of about 7 came up to me and said, “Who are you?”

Having just read and watched The Princess Bride, I knew the correct answer to that one. “No one of consequence,” I replied.

Evidently, he wasn’t familiar with The Princess Bridebecause he looked even more puzzled. “But, aren’t you a grownup?”

He had me there. I confessed the truth to him. “Yes, I’m a grownup.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Obviously, in his world, grownups don’t go to the playground. Grownups do grownup things, like watch TV, and go to work, and drink coffee, while the kids have all the fun. So I told him, “I’m here to play with my daughter.”

I guess he hadn’t thought of that before, and the answer satisfied him. He began to tell me that he attends the Great White Northern School for the Government Mandated Education of the Young and Impressionable. In fact, he had spent that whole day detained there.

“I attended this school too,” I told him. “But that was a long time ago. About 150 years ago.”

“A 150 years ago? Was there a school here then?” he asked.

“He’s just kidding,” my daughter informed the boy. “He’s only 42.”

“Well,” I told the boy, “it was last century. I started attending this school when we moved to town in 1974.”

“Wow!” He was impressed. I think he knew by then that I was playing around with him. “Were there dinosaurs then?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Did one ever bite you?” he asked.

“No, I was too quick for them. They couldn’t catch me.”

The boy must have watched Jurassic Park, for he informed me, “No, dinosaurs are very fast. They can run about 100 miles per hour.”

“No, that is only in the movies. I’ve seen many dinosaurs in my time, and they are very slow. Very, very slow. In fact, they are mostly just bones, and even if you look at them for a long time, they hardly seem to move at all.”

“That’s because their dead,” he told me.

“You’re right. And dead things usually move more slowly than living things, so it was easy for me to get away from the dinosaurs. In fact, I’m a dinosaur now.” I began to walk towards him, waving my arms and making growling sounds.

“You’re not a dinosaur,” he laughed as he danced just out of my reach.

“Yes I am, and I can prove it. Dinosaurs are all dead, and dead things are slower than living things. So if I can catch you, I’m not dead and I can’t be a dinosaur. But if I can’t catch you, then it proves I’m a dinosaur.”

For the next few minutes, I chased him around the playground. Perhaps there was a flaw in my logic, but I proved to him that I am a dinosaur, because I never caught him.