I don’t keep garden gnomes in the house, and I don’t advise you to do so either. But if you do, please keep them locked up so that children don’t come across them and harm themselves or someone else.

Headline AP: Grandma Stops Intruder With Garden Gnome

LONDON – A grandmother stopped an intruder from entering her home by lobbing a heavy garden gnome at him, police said Friday. Jean Collop was woken early on Tuesday morning by the sound of an intruder on the roof of her home in Wadebridge, southwest England.

“I grabbed the first thing that came to hand — one of my garden gnomes — and hurled it at him, and hit him,” she recalled.

“He lay there and I began to scream. I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn’t want to break another gnome.”

She doesn’t want to break another garden gnome. If someone is breaking into my home at night, I intend to throw something much smaller at him. (It is only about 9mm.) I’m not concerned about these small things breaking, and I’ve got lots of them to throw.