There were some humorous conversations I either overheard or was in today. (All names are changed to protect the guilty.)

When A learned that B had a horse, A asked, “You have a horse? Aren’t they expensive to feed?”

“No, not really,” B replied. “Hay is pretty inexpensive, and they feed in the pasture from spring through fall.”

“Yes, but I hear they eat like a horse.”

Well yes, I guess they would.

“Is Rastafarianism the majority religion in Jamaica?” asked Caesar.

A knew the answer right away: “Among the Rastafarians there it is.”

Brilliant observation! I wish I would have said that.

Since March, Route 28 South into Pittsburgh has been under major construction. The two northbound lanes out of Pittsburgh were divided with a barrier and the southbound traffic was diverted into the left lane of the northbound road. Penn DOT then tore down some bridges and completely rebuilt the southbound lanes.

The inbound delays weren’t too bad, but the outbound delays were much worse. So every night we sit in backed up traffic waiting to get to the merge point on the northbound lanes.

After almost 9 months work, today they opened the southbound lanes, and the inbound delay was gone. But it is going to take another month to break down the barriers and get rid of the delay on the way home.

As we sat in the stopped traffic tonight, a fellow car-pool rider observed, “Instead of the southbound lane, I wish they’d opened the northbound lane first.”

I understood his sentiment, because I’d like to get rid of the longer delay going home. But I had to laugh as I told him that I’m glad they are doing it in order by diverted the southbound traffic before they remove the barriers.

The Associated Press explains how to live forever: Study: Active but Obese Face Greater Risks

Women who were physically active but obese had almost twice the risk of death of women were both active and lean. Women who were sedentary but slender were 55 percent more likely to die early. Women who were both sedentary and obese were almost 2 1/2 times more likely to die.

So, lets figure this out logically.

Assumption 1: All women who are both sedentary and obese will die. They are in fact mortal. In other words, the rate of death of sedentary and obese women is 100%.

Assumption 2: The statements in the article are accurate. It claims that women who are sedentary and obese are 2.5 times as likely to die (presumable 2.5 times as likely as women who are both active and lean).

Conclusion: Women who are both active and lean have a 40% chance of dying. (40% x 2.5 = 100%)

So if you want a 60% chance of living forever, all you have to do is be an active and lean woman.

Somehow I think there is some problem with this, but I’m having trouble putting my finger on it. Oh yes, now I’ve got it. I am in fact a man. But women have hope to be immortal.

Headline Chicago Sun-Times: Teen smoking down, but use of inhalants increases

“What happened to your Orange-things-persons-whatever yesterday?” a friend asked at work today.

“No, their just the plain old Syracuse Orange. Not the Orange-gender-neutrals or anything like that. Just the Orange,” I replied. “But I haven’t heard. What happened?”

“They got stomped last night. It was 35-6 at the half and the final score was 51-14. It was a route!”

I was stunned. I’ve seen some low scoring basketball games in my life, but nothing like that. Not even in high school. That could be three two point baskets in the first half and four more in the second half. Or two three pointers in the first half and two more and one two point basket in the second half. Or if you throw in a few foul shots it could be … well you get the idea. “Only 14 points! How can they only score 14 points?”

After staring at me for a few seconds, my friend replied with a laugh, “It was the Syracuse football team in the Bowl game, not the basketball game.”

Oh. Well that explains how they could score 14 points in a game.

Headline USA Today: Now isn’t a bad time to job hunt

Scientists have been looking for signs of water on Mars as a hint as to whether there could be life on another planet. Now it appears they have been looking on the wrong planet. There are clear signs that there are teenage boys in the rings of Saturn.

Headline Space.com: Snowball Fight in Saturn’s Rings

Coming back from going outside at lunch today, I got into the elevator with a woman who was clearly a visitor to the building. She looked at the elevator buttons and said, “Whoa! Thirteen floors! That’s unlucky!” Somehow we survived the elevator ride even with the luck going against us. The woman was wearing what looked to my casual glance like a nice leather jacket. Well, maybe it was naugahyde or formaldehyde or some other fake leather. I couldn’t tell. But it looked like a nice jacket.

The elevator came to her floor, and she stepped out. As she walked away, I saw the back of her jacket. It had sewn in colored leather (or naugahyde…), “I love bingo. I love bingo. I love bingo.”

I certainly can’t relate to having “I love bingo” on the back of my leather jacket. Bingo isn’t a game that interests me in the least. But it got me thinking what I would find acceptable to wear on the back of my leather jacket. “I love P.G. Wodehouse”? “I love Jane Austen”? “I love The Beatles”? No, no, and no. I like all three, but not to wear on the back of my jacket.

But she is telling the world the game she likes. “I love Rummikub”? “I love Yahtzee”? “I love Five Crowns”? No, no, and no.

I don’t want to use my back as a billboard for anything, especially not to inform the world about my favorite game. I guess she loves bingo. She really loves bingo.

Q.11. What is God’s providence?

A. God’s providence is His completely holy, wise, and powerful preserving and governing every creature and every action.

Every action is governed by God’s providence. From the life and death of a sparrow —

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Matthew 10:29

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.

– to the result of the throw of the dice –

Proverbs 16:33

The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD.

– to when and where we will live –

Acts 17:24-26

²⁴ The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, ²⁵ nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. ²⁶ And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place….

– to the rising up and setting down of kings and kingdoms –

Daniel 5:18-21

¹⁸ O king, the Most High God gave Nebuchadnezzar your father kingship and greatness and glory and majesty. ¹⁹ And because of the greatness that he gave him, all peoples, nations, and languages trembled and feared before him. Whom he would, he killed, and whom he would, he kept alive; whom he would, he raised up, and whom he would, he humbled. ²⁰ But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit was hardened so that he dealt proudly, he was brought down from his kingly throne, and his glory was taken from him. ²¹ He was driven from among the children of mankind, and his mind was made like that of a beast, and his dwelling was with the wild donkeys. He was fed grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, until he knew that the Most High God rules the kingdom of mankind and sets over it whom he will.

– Scripture clearly presents God as preserving and governing every creature and every action.

This morning I read the back of the grape-nuts box and found out the secret for losing weight.

Research by a leading cardiologist shows that people who ate 2 bowls of Post Healthy Classics cereals each day, as part of a reduced calorie diet, LOST 10 LBS and reduced their risk factors for heart disease…

3 Easy steps to reduce calories, lose weight and maintain a healthier heart:

• Replace 2 meals a day with a serving of any Post Healthy Classics cereal, 1/2 cup fat-free milk and fruit.
• Focus on portion control at mealtimes.
• Add more physical activities into your day.

So, an easy way to lose 10 pounds is to eat 2 bowls of cereal each day? I’ve been doing that at breakfast for years, and it doesn’t seem to be working as a weight loss strategy for me. But if Post recommends it, who am I to argue. Perhaps I’ll do them one better and try eating three bowls of cereal for breakfast. That might work.

AFP Photo:

Caption: “Whale of a day : A visitor looks at an ice sculpture of a whale at the ‘Ice World’ ice sculpture festival in Luebeck, northern Germany. (AFP/DDP/Roland Magunia)”