We received the following submission to the me judice Sayings That Initially Appear To Be Profound, But Upon Further Reflection Are In Fact Nonsense Competition:

Dear Knilram

I found the following quote on a YMCA exercise class schedule posted on our kitchen refrigerator.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take…but that take our breath away." — Anonymous

I would appreciate it if you would consider it for your mjSTIATBPBUFRAIFN Competition.

Best regards,

Joe Fictitious-North-Carolina-Reader

Thanks for the submission, Joe. We forwarded it to the mj Department of Pseudo-Profundity for their review, and here is their response.

Thank you for your submission, Mr. Fictitious-North-Carolina-Reader.

We have reviewed the saying. Initially we considered just forwarding it to the mj Department of More Badder Grammar Mocking because the heart of the problem with this saying is that it is poorly constructed. To the casual reader, the message is clear: It is better to live a shorter life filled with "breath taking" experiences than to live a longer, more boring life. You can agree or disagree with the idea, but it does come across fairly clearly. At least initially.

However, it is very badly worded. The two statements are not parallel. "Number of breaths" is compared to "that take our breath away". Since the subject is not stated in the second statement, we must take the subject from the first. Now, "Number of breaths" is compared with "number that take our breath away". What number takes our breath away? Seven? Nine? Forty-two? We can only guess. In fact, this is just nonsense. The main cause of the confusion is the bad parallism rather than pseudo-profundity.

But upon further reflection, we decided to keep this saying in our own department and to not disqualify it from the me judice Sayings That Initially Appear To Be Profound, But Upon Further Reflection Are In Fact Nonsense Competition because at an entirely different level it is pseudo-profundity.

As Mr. Fictitious-North-Carolina-Reader pointed out, this saying came from a YMCA exercise class schedule. That placement of the saying is highly significant. This brings the idea of "taking breath away" into an entirely different light. The main point of aerobic exercise is to improve the efficiency of your cardio-vascular system. You elevate your heart and breathing rates for a short period of time so that your heart and lungs are more efficient, and don’t have to work as hard the rest of the day. As a result of your exercise program, your heart will beat less times and you will take less breaths through the course of the day. Therefore, "taking breath away" can be a metaphor for improved physical conditioning. In that light, the saying now boils down to this: Life isn’t about being fat and out of shape, but rather life is about spending time exercising at your local YMCA.

Now for anyone who has spent a significant amount of time suffering in joyless YMCA fitness rooms, the saying has now clearly crossed into the realm of nonsense, and qualifies for the mjSTIATBPBUFRAIFN Competition.

We rate it a 6 of 10 for Confusion. We would have rated it higher, but the main confusion is in the grammar and not logic. Our judges prefer logic flaws and we leave the mocking of grammar to others. We rate it 7 of 10 for the initial impression that the saying is profound, and 9 of 10 for the amount of reflection required to realize that it is in fact nonsense. This gives it an overall rating of 7.3 which puts this statement into first place on our leader board.

Congratulations, Joe Fictitious-North-Carolina-Reader, and thanks for playing in the me judice Sayings That Initially Appear To Be Profound, But Upon Further Reflection Are In Fact Nonsense Competition.