Alexander Rose reviews the book Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World in National Review.

Despite its titanic expanse, its wealth, and its impressive accomplishments, this empire created nothing and left little of use (apart from a few lexicographical relics — horde, hurray, mogul — and a tongue-twister that I recall went something like this: "How many boards could the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?"). They left no monuments or distinctive architecture, no formal religion, no scientific breakthroughs, no enduring economic, philosophical, or legal system, no great art, and hardly any literature.

The Mongols were the thieving magpies, not the busy beavers, of the Middle Ages: Instead of diligently building and developing things, whenever they saw something new and shiny they needed or liked, they took it. And, for some time, they needed a lot, for, owing to their nomadism, the Mongols were ignorant of such basics as how to bake bread or make pottery. Later, Muslim mathematicians, Chinese anatomists, German miners, Persian merchants, Italian silversmiths, English translators, Indian astronomers, all trekked — sometimes involuntarily — to the court of the khan and performed their miracles.

You can learn a lot from these reviews. I never had heard that important tongue twister before, so I must admit I have learned something from this article.

However, I did already know that the Mongols didn’t create things, but rather they were impressed by new things and took the things they wanted. This point was clearly driven home by that influential historical documentary Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

(Mongolia)

(Genghis Khan is eating his dinner. A slave girl comes in and begins to feed him. He stops and spits out the food, then grabs her and proceeds to begin to ravish her. Suddenly with a flash of light the booth arrives. Ted holds out a Twinkie. Genghis grabs his club and goes after the Twinkie.)

Ted: Would you like a Twinkie, Genghis Khan? Say please. Mmmmm.

(He enters the booth and it takes off again.)