Headline AP: Swedish Moose Runs Off With Bicycle

STOCKHOLM, Sweden – The massive moose didn’t take it for a joyride, but she did run off with Bjoern and Monica Helamb’s bicycle, the couple said Monday.

The married couple was ready for the moose, which has visited their yard in Vuoggatjalme in northern Sweden annually since 1995 to snack on their roses. This year, though, they put their bicycle in front of the flowers in a bid to protect them.

“So we thought we would at least protect our favorite roses from her appetite by making it harder for her to get to them,” Bojern Helamb told The Associated Press.

It didn’t help.

The moose, dubbed “Droopy Ear” because of her deformed ears, slid her head through the bike’s frame and munched on the roses last week, sating her appetite with a flowery feast.

“Then she disappeared, with the bike hanging around her neck,” Helamb said.

He found the bike later, about 1,640 feet from the house, bent apart and beyond repair.

Note to self: Don’t use a bicycle to protect roses from moose.

Headline AP: Bible Argument Spurs Boiling-Oil Charge

EUGENE, Ore. – A woman is accused of pouring boiling oil on her boyfriend’s face in an argument over a Bible verse.

Angela S. Morris, 19, was charged with domestic violence assault and jailed on $250,000 bail. Her 31-year-old boyfriend, whose name was not released, was hospitalized with severe burns on his face, neck and chest.

The two were reading the Bible at the boyfriend’s apartment May 13 when Morris went to the kitchen to prepare french fries, police said.

Morris told police that they continued to argue and that her boyfriend grabbed her from behind. Police said he then went to his bedroom to lie down. Morris followed and threw the oil on him, police said.

In another account, the man denies they were arguing about a Bible verse. The woman is the only one claiming they were arguing about a Bible verse before she attacked him.

And so my question is, what Bible verse does she say they were arguing about before she decided to attack him with boiling oil?

How about one of these?

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 16:32

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty,

and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Proverbs 19:11

Good sense makes one slow to anger,

and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

The text was Isaiah 49:1-6

1 Listen to me, O coastlands,

and give attention, you peoples from afar.

The LORD called me from the womb,

from the body of my mother he named my name.

2 He made my mouth like a sharp sword;

in the shadow of his hand he hid me;

he made me a polished arrow;

in his quiver he hid me away.

3 And he said to me, “You are my servant,

Israel, in whom I will be glorified.”

4 But I said, “I have labored in vain;

I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity;

yet surely my right is with the LORD,

and my recompense with my God.”

5 And now the LORD says,

he who formed me from the womb to be his servant,

to bring Jacob back to him;

and that Israel might be gathered to him–

for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD,

and my God has become my strength–

6 he says:

“It is too light a thing that you should be my servant

to raise up the tribes of Jacob

and to bring back the preserved of Israel;

I will make you as a light for the nations,

that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.”

1. From verse 1: “The LORD called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name.” Our Pastor pointed out that the coming of the Servant, Jesus Christ, was prophesied from the beginning.

   Genesis 3:15

   I will put enmity between you and the woman,
   
   and between your offspring[1] and her offspring;
   
   he shall bruise your head,
   
   and you shall bruise his heel.”
   

   All through the Old Testament, there are passages pointing to the coming Messiah, and so Isaiah points out that before His birth, His mission is prophesied.

   It is instructive and encouraging to see how the Old Testament continually points to Jesus.

2. From verse 6: “I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.” Isaiah makes clear that the Gospel will go beyond Israel to all the world. And though there is disappointment at times to seeming failure of the Gospel (v 4 “”I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity.”), yet ultimately we know that God is bringing salvation “to the end of the earth.”

   We can be confident that God will use the Gospel to bring a widespread conversion, in His time. Ultimately, the Gospel will be a success, and we can look forward to a day when:

   Habakkuk 2:14

   … the earth will be filled
   
   with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD
   
   as the waters cover the sea.

   For an old pessimist like me, it is also encouraging to see how Scripture points to a day when there will be a great success of the Gospel as many people throughout the world come to faith in God through Jesus Christ.

Q.91. How do the sacraments become effective means of salvation?

A. The sacraments become effective means of salvation, not because of any special power in them or in the people who administer them, but rather by the blessing of Christ and the working of His Spirit in those who receive them by faith.

In yesterday’s Opinion Journal, Irshad Manji writes that “Muslims, like Jews and Christians, must own up to problems in their holy book.” He mainly deals with the Koran and Islam, but he throws in Judaism and Christianity, perhaps to sound more fair.

In the days following September 11, Muslim spokespeople mouthed the mantra that the Koran makes it absolutely clear when jihad can and can’t be pursued, and the terrorists unquestionably crossed the line. To quote a Muslim American scholar who typified this perspective, Allah “says in unequivocal terms that to kill an innocent being is like killing entire humanity.”

Wishful whitewashing. The Koran verse that’s cited as “unequivocal” actually bestows wiggle room. Here’s how it fully reads: “We laid it down for the Israelites,” meaning those who believe in one God, “that whoever killed a human being, except as punishment for murder or other villainy in the land, shall be regarded as having killed all mankind.” Sadly, the clause starting with “except” can be deployed by militant Muslims to fuel their jihads. That’s precisely how Nicholas Berg’s executioners justified their travesty.

Which means religion is no innocent bystander in the violence perpetrated by Muslims. Just as moderate Christians and Jews acknowledge the nasty side of their holy texts, modern Muslims ought to come clean about how our sacred script informs terror. One can argue that certain passages are being politically exploited–and, indeed, they are. The point is, however, that they couldn’t be exploited if they didn’t exist….

Moderate Muslims, like moderate Christians and Jews, shouldn’t be afraid to ask: What if our holy script isn’t perfect? What if it’s inconsistent, even contradictory? What if it’s riddled with human biases?

Manji is trying to argue that Islam ultimately is a religion of peace, but only for those who reject the clear and intended meaning of the Koran. A “moderate” Muslim is one who rejects the portions of Koran that say things that are currently politically incorrect or that make us uncomfortable. (Does this sound at all familiar to those who have been exposed to the liberal “Christian” church?)

In other words, to make Islam a religion of peace, you have to reject its foundational document as being “inconsistent, even contradictory” and so be enabled to reject the parts that clearly teach violence against non-Muslims. This makes Islam into an a-la-cart religion, where you take what you like, and leave that which you don’t.

In Christianity, I would consider that anyone who rejected the Bible is not a Christian. Christianity is based upon God’s revelation of Himself as revealed in His Word that He has given to us. To pick and choose what we will accept from His word is to reject His Word.

Since Islam considers itself a religion of the book (the Koran), it seems logical to assume that anyone who rejects the Koran, also must reject Islam. Therefore to believe Islam is a religion of peace, you have to reject the foundation of Islam (the Koran) and ultimately you reject Islam itself. This leaves a moderate Muslim as one who doesn’t really believe in Islam. That is what a moderate Muslim is.

Headline Reuters: Rafters Conquer World’s Longest River

AFP Photo:

Caption: “Singer Bono testifying before the US Senate Appropriations Committee on 18 May(AFP/Stephen Jaffe)”

Two examples from Tuesday’s National Review.

Some similes work.

…I don’t mind the patter of little keyboards across the country as editorial writers and Democrats type-type-type their demands for Rumsfeld to resign. Like the rain, angry pronouncements fall on the just and the unjust alike.

And some don’t.

On Tuesday, Baker will hold a hearing on whether the New York Stock Exchange is necessary nowadays. It’s a good question to ask in this new information-age economy, which is slaying the dinosaur industries of the past the way Cicadas shed their exoskeletons.

Our mj editorial judge awards five points to the former for an excellent Biblical allusion, and deducts ten points from the latter for an overly forced allusion to current natural events.

As a aside, in a Bible study I attended today, the leader referred to what he called “a heinous ball of wax”. Unfortunately, I don’t recall the point he was making, but I did find the phrase remarkably memorable.

Professional Football quarterback Mark Brunell is now with the Washington Redskins, and so the Washington Times has an article about him. It concentrates on the fact that Brunell is a Christian, and is not a very sympathetic article. The writer seems to purposefully try to make Brunell look as bad as possible.

Pray for a knee. God heals it. Pray for a win. God grants it. Score a touchdown, point to the sky and give thanks to your main man — J.C. It all seems a bit sanctimonious, as if the maker is a spiritual ATM and Notre Dame’s victories come courtesy of Touchdown Jesus.

Of course, it appears that Brunell might have made some things easy for the Times.

Some teammates didn’t understand. They mocked Brunell’s newfound piety. Where was the swagger, the toughness? Blessed are the meek. Turn the other cheek. Yeah, right. Godly athletes are soft.

Years later, Brunell heard the same whispers in Jacksonville. It irks him.

Brunell points to [Reggie] White, whose pass-rushing club move packed the punch of a cast-iron skillet. He points to best friend and former Jacksonville teammate, Tony Boselli, a punishing tackle who played on the black-and-blue edge of National Football League rules. He even points to Jesus, who, it should be noted, threw out parables and temple money changers with equal aplomb.

“[If] Jesus [played football], who knows? He’d probably be a linebacker,” Brunell says. “He was much tougher than people give him credit for.”

That’s the first time I heard “Play linebacker” as the answer to the question, “What would Jesus Do?”